Elevator Games for the Demented

I don't know about the rest of you, but I hate elevators. It seems that every time I get on one, it has to stop on every floor. We need a better form of amusement during this vertical snooze. Here are some suggestions to make your ride more enjoyable.
(Not responsible for detrimental reactions to your reputation up to and including arrest and/or psychiatric committal.

1. Hum the theme to jaws on each floor until the door opens.
2. announce each floor loudly ....... follow with "all aboard"
3. stand quietly in the corner without moving facing the wall without getting off
4. when anyone brushes against you, move away quickly saying "bad touch, bad touch"
5. keep a hand in your pocket, smile the whole time, hiss periodically
6. bring a small desk and chair, ask all who enter if they have an appointment
7. grimace, smack your forehead, periodically whisper "shut up, I'm not doing that"
8. make small race car noises as people get off or on
9. wear a tuxedo print shirt and when people try to get on say "that will be $4.50 please
10. open your breifcase and ask "got enough air in there?"
11. when you arrive at a floor grunt and groan while trying to open the elevator door, act surprised when it opens itself
12. wear a sock puppet and talk to other passengers through it

Have fun,