Some quick jokes.

A man goes up to a bar located at the top of the empire state building. It looks like a nice place so he takes a seat at the bar.
"This is a nice place, I've never been here before" he says to the guy seated next to him.
"Oh. Really?" the other replies, "it is a nice place, It's also a very special bar"
"Why is that ?"
"Well you see that painting on the wall? It's an original Van Gogh, and the stool your sitting on was on the titanic."
"Wow, that's amazing." Says the first guy.
"Not only that but do you see that window over there? The fourth one from the right. Well the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out that window you will fall about fifty feet before the wind pushes you right back up."
"No way, that's impossible." the guy scoffs.
"Not at all, take a look" with that the guy walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10...20...30...40...50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh---he comes back up and sails through the window.
"See it's fun, you should try it" he says.
Try it!!! I don't even believe I saw it!!!! the first man shouts.
"It's easy. Watch Ill do it again." With that he falls out the window once more. He drops 10...20...30...40...50 feet, stops,comes back and sails through the window.
"Give it a try. It's a blast."
"Well, what the heck. I'll give it a try" says the first man, as he proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10...20...30...40...50...60...70...80...90...100 feet and splat, he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk.
After watching this the second guy walks over, casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders another drink.
The bartender arrives with the drink and says, " You know Superman, you'r a real jerk when you get drunk."

INTERESTING....YET USELESS INFORMATION

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt 30 feet. (O.M.G.!!!!!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach can live 9 days without it's head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig)

Banging you'r head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while it's head is attached to it's body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the ....?!!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. (30 minutes.....lucky pig...can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty at the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life.....quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmm.......)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK. So I guess that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that one out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about the pig?????????)

Have a pig of a day y'all.