Ways to be truly annoying.....

sing the batman theme constantly.

staple papers in the middle of the page.

ask 800 number operators for dates.

write the surprise ending to a novel on the front page.

specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

memorize morse code and have public conversations with your friends consisting of "beep bip bip bee bip".

publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

honk and wave to total strangers in heavy traffic.

Dress only in clothes that are hunter orange.

change channels five minutes before the ending of every tv show.

tape segments of "sweatin to the oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

steal a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute entire city streets.

pay for your dinner with pennies.

repeat everything someone says, as a question.

wander around the restaurant asking other diners for their parsley.

demand that everyone address you as "conquistador"

leave tips in pesos.

wear a cape that says "Magnificent One"

stand over someones shoulder and mumble as they read.

skip everywhere you go instead of walking.

leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

name your dog "Dog"

inform people that they exist only in your imagination.

ask people what gender they are.

reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think"

follow a few paces behind someone spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

while making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

lie about obvious things like the time of day.

sit in your front yard with a hair dryer and point it at passing cars and see if they slow down.

chew on borrowed pens.

sing along at the opera.

mow your lawn with scissors.

finish all your sentences with "in accordance with prophecy"

ask the waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.

ask your coworkers mysterious questions and scribble their answers in a notebook while mumbling something about psychological profiles.

dont add inflection at the end of any of your sentences, producing an awkward silence with the impression that you will be saying more at any moment.

signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

invent lots of people to other people's parties.

forward e-mails back to the person that sent it to you.