Grover's Gripes

What the kids are reading.....

2008-05-01T21:24:00.001-05:00

2008 Hunting Season

2008-04-30T21:37:00.004-05:00

This year our hunting guides will be G.I.Joe and his ambiguously gay "companion" Stretch.

2008-04-18T21:18:00.002-05:00

Yeah, Ill take the fish pizza taco supreme and two scoops of raspberry filled on a sugar cone.

Congratulations to my wife Lila for 16 days of not smoking!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-13T17:37:00.003-05:00

and now a word from the Colonel...........

Good job mom...........now move please. I can't see the t.v.

No Idea.

2008-04-11T20:31:00.001-05:00

So.....I am having a hard time figuring out what to post about today. Hmmmm. Well, luckily, I don't guess it matters since noone reads this blog anyway. Peace........

Thanks George!

2008-04-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

Finally!!!!.......A Candidate I can vote for!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-10T21:52:00.002-05:00

Okay everyone. This term we should all write in good ole' Hal. If he sucks after the election we can upgrade!

IN MEMORIAM

2008-03-25T22:53:00.003-05:00

PRANCER DANCER SPRINKLE

A wonderful friend to us all. We love you. You will be missed.

El Nino????

2008-03-22T22:48:00.001-05:00

Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Stop......go back up and click......thank you for you support. We now resume regularly scheduled programming.

House Flip This !

2008-03-22T22:12:00.001-05:00

I drive a lot on the job, and often listen to talk radio. According to what I heard today, it seems the homebuilding market has slowed to the point where companies are getting desperate. The report said that some of them are selling previously listed homes of $100,000 to $150,000 for $70,000 to $75,000. Nice Markup!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-21T00:00:00.003-05:00

Kitchen-Floor Conflict Intensifies As Rival House Cats Claim Same Empty Bag

2008-03-20T22:24:00.001-05:00

HUNTSVILLE, AL—Ongoing turmoil in the troubled kitchen-floor region of the Brown household reached a boiling point Tuesday, as relations between rival house cats Boswell and Johnson erupted into fresh violence. Observers said the arrival of a new brown paper-bag in the area ignited long-standing tensions and set off another round of territorial conflict between the two factions in the most serious aggression since the devastating stove-side siege of 2005.

The afternoon was marred by sporadic fighting, according to reports, with opposing forces darting and then retreating in surprise attacks. Boswell held his position despite relentless onslaughts from Johnson, who repeatedly batted the controversial bag along the ancient linoleum surface. By the end of the day, neither side displayed any intention to halt reprisals without the other first relinquishing claims and pulling out permanently—an outcome those close to the fighting called "unlikely at best."
"What people unfamilar with the history here must understand is that this seemingly empty and barren paper bag has rapidly become the third most important site in the area after the scratching post in the living room and the breakfast-nook windowsill," former CIA analyst Mattie Sales said. "Not only is it seen by both Boswellist and Johnsonian interests as a crucial location for establishing territorial control in the kitchen-floor region, but it also makes a crumpling sound that both sides find irresistible."
Added Sales, "Unfortunately, hostilities have destabilized this already tenuous peace at least until nap time."
The bag, a brown paper grocery bag from the Piggly Wiggly with no prior claims of cat ownership attached to it, became the center of a wide-scale power play when Boswell seized control of its highly contested interior, and occupied the disputed area for approximately 30 seconds. Following immediate Johnsonian reprisals, Boswell unleashed a barrage of swats, but failed to secure a position in the bag.

Boswell (above) and Johnson (below)
Reports from the ground indicated that Johnson, once in possession of the perimeter region up to the cat dish, was forced in the early afternoon to retreat to the green rug zone, where he licked his paws with apparent disinterest for an estimated 10 minutes. Without warning, Johnson then launched a full-frontal assault on Boswell's forces, pouncing from behind and eventually chasing his rival all the way to the bathroom sink. The heavy leaping and grappling was broken only by periods of intense mutual licking. At one point, the conflict escalated into full-fledged upside-down kicking of each other in the face before Boswell was distracted by an errant ball rolling across the floor, bringing the factions to an uneasy standstill.
Despite the intensity of the fighting, no serious injuries were reported.
"People in the middle of this have tried everything they can to quell the violence, including bringing in a second bag, but nothing has worked," said U.N. investigator Melinda Hall, adding that many residents were furious at the combatants for knocking over and destroying a prized vase in November. "It is beginning to appear that any long-term solution may have to involve deployment of the disciplinary squirt bottle."
According to International Red Cross worker Etienne Zervudacki, there was a temporary lull in the violence when both factions shifted their attention to a nearby can of tuna, craning their necks and licking their lips in apparent unity before eventually returning to the battle. While the short-lived truce was hopeful, Zervudacki said, it was a fragile pact that ignored the true causes of dilemma.
"The biggest shame here is that these two sides are so entrenched in their differences that they don't realize they are brothers," said Zervudacki, noting that even though both parties were reportedly curled up together on the sofa at press time, violence would likely break out again tomorrow. "If it's not the paper bag, it will be something else, like aluminum foil, toy mice, or plastic rings from two-gallon milk jugs."

CTRL...ALT......DELETE

2008-03-19T18:42:00.001-05:00

REBOOOOOOOOT

2007-07-08T17:58:00.000-05:00

This week is too close to call.............tie!
The winner is ogboy.... or is that ca ca O........

You win a case of kool pops!!!!!!!

This week's picture is......................

2007-06-26T19:43:00.000-05:00

Winner

2007-06-26T19:39:00.000-05:00

This weeks winner............CCB AGAIN!

and the prize is...................

SCRAmblED EgGgSsSs........(What???? we have a small budget here....)

Round 3

2007-06-24T15:12:00.000-05:00

This week's winner

2007-06-24T14:19:00.000-05:00

This weeks winner is....................................................................................... CACABOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have won a one year all expenses paid subscription renewal to ..........YOUR OWN BLOGSITE.!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now get to blogging ..... :)

O.K. Here's this weeks Image.

2007-06-17T22:02:00.000-05:00

Photo Winner

2007-06-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

The winner for this week is.................OGO.
Congratulations!!!!!!!.
Tell her what she won Johnny.

A Teaspoon of brine shrimp. :>+

Quick thinking

2007-06-15T19:45:00.000-05:00

A fellow bought a new mercedes and was on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the wind was blowing through his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There aint no way they can catch a mercedes" he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 110, and finally 120 with the lights still flashing behind him. "What on earth am I doing" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "Ive had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go!" "Last week my wife ran off with a cop", the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice night!" said the officer.

Father"s day. ............right........

2007-06-15T18:33:00.000-05:00

It's here again. The day when men all across America get new ties and pocket knives. As I look at my two mini-me's I find myself wondering. Is it really worth the working ten, twelve, fifteen hour days in the heat, coming home to the honey do list that is already backlogged well into the next decade. Is it worth being dog tired most of the time, wanting nothing more than a nice nap, but chasing the kids around the back yard while the wife naps in my place. Is it worth the verbal fencing of "no you can't do/have that right now because........". Is it worth wearing convertible socks with two toes "peekin" so they can have cool pops this week? There is only one answer. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OF COURSE IT IS! :>)

HAPPY FATHERS DAY EVERYONE!!!!

OK.....Im bored!!!!

2007-06-13T20:52:00.000-05:00

I'm going to post a picture once a week and see who has the funniest caption for it. If anyone reads this blog that is.

2007-06-08T19:35:00.000-05:00

Great!!! It really did freeze over. Now I have a lot of things to catch up on.

2007-06-06T22:03:00.000-05:00

HEY PEOPLE!!!

I have risen like a phoenix from the ashes...............STAY TUNED!

2005-06-19T00:56:00.000-05:00

Stole This List ....part two (I stole it from Lila,,,,who stole it from red

If I were a month I'd be; April If I were a season I'd be: Spring If I were a day of the week I'd be: Friday If I were a time of day I'd be: 12:59 pm If I were a planet I'd be: Uranus If I were a sea creature I'd be: dolphin If I were a direction I'd be: lost If I were a sin I'd be: gluttony If I were a historical figure I'd be: Robert E Lee If I were a liquid I'd be: milk If I were a tree I'd be: willow If I were a bird I'd be: eagle If I were a tool I'd be: inside micrometers If I were a flower I'd be: weed If I were a kind of weather I'd be: thundersnow If I were a mythical creature I'd be: grover If I were a musical instrument I'd be: a guitar If I were a house pet I'd be: a pit bull/chihuahua mix If I were a color I'd be: blue If I were an emotion I'd be: frustration If I were a vegetable I'd be: president If I were a fruit I'd be: a watermelon If I were a sound I'd be: a dog chasing a cat in a tornado If I were an element I'd be: tungsten If I were a car I'd be: GTO If I were a song I'd be: "Tumbling Down" John Mellencamp If I were a book I'd be: "The last wizard" If I were a place I'd be: a ghost town If I were a material I'd be: wood If I were a scent I'd be: french vanilla If I were a word I'd be: living in a dictionary If I were an object I'd be: a guitar If I were a body part I'd be: an eye If I were a facial expression I'd be: that "you smell something?" look If I were a subject in school I'd be: lunch If I were a shape I'd be: a octogon If I were an ice cream flavour I'd be: Neopolitan If I were a celebrity I'd be: Nicolas Cage If I were a body of water I'd be: the dead sea If I were a land form/area of land I'd be: the Black Hills If I were something made of glass I'd be: a glass eye If I were something made of paper I'd be: origami grover

Try this......

2005-06-19T00:49:00.000-05:00

Here is something that might be interesting.......or not....
Use the word FATHER to describe you'r own dad.

Funny
Always busy doing something, even if he didn't know what it was exactly...
Thinker (one of the smartest men I ever knew)
Hugger (runs in the family)
Early riser
Rugged (dad was definately a man's man)

Happy Fathers Day!!!!!

2005-06-19T00:36:00.000-05:00

I hope you all have a wonderfull Fathers Day!!!
Note to Lila; as for you'r question of what I want for Father's Day???.....the two sons you gave me are all I will ever need for F-Day for the rest of my life.

Note to All: Sorry I haven't been posting much. It seems I never have any time anymore.

Now , with all that said., .......time to ramble

Ham and eggs....just a day's work for a chicken, but a lifetime commitment for the pig.

If it's true that we are only here to help others, then what the hell are the others here for?????

Dust.....nature's natural protective coating for all your fine furniture.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos?

I think the word Vegetarian must be Indian for Poor Hunter.

2005-06-19T00:19:00.000-05:00

Right around the time I turned three, his deep voice entered my memory. I needed to hear I was good enough, that my awkward years would make a diamond from the rough. I always was the apple of his eye that beheld my every mistake and turned it into pride. He gave me gifts of wisdom way beyond my years, he showed me there could be love even through the tears. A devoted champion he comes in many forms:mechanic, carpenter, handyman, a witness when I was born. Sports fanatic, tutor, a great big hugger,artist, war hero, scholar,medicine man, dream weaver, and music lover. Some are by blood, some linked by hearts, it matters not how fathers get the part. If Heaven’s gates await then that’s where I’ll be, once again coming home to where my dad waits for me. You've been gone now so many years, you missed your grandsons births, their smile, their laughter, and their tears. They never got to meet you Dad, so I can only pray. That the lessons that you taught me as a child still show today.
I miss you Dad.
Happy Fathers Day.

For the Father's no longer with us.

2005-06-19T00:05:00.000-05:00

Remembering those no longer with us.
Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go.But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say.What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone.And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all.About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls.There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats.One by one the teacher called a student from the class.To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare.Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't there."Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out."She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,"Looks like anotherdeadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom.And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak.And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away.But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know.All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.He loved to tell me stories.He taught me to ride my bike.He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone.And though you cannot see him.I'm not standing here alone."Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apartI know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest.Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud."I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star.And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.You see he was a policeman and died just this past year.When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.And to her mothers amazement, she witnessed with surprise.A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes.Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside.Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side."I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt.Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had beenclosed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shiningstar. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciatethem, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

meme shcmeme.....

2005-06-07T16:58:00.000-05:00

1. Not sure what volume music files......so let's just say.......a snootload.

2.Last cd I bought was John Mellencamp...the best that I could do.

3. No song being played now..............hmmm....static by comcast cable.

4 Five songs that mean a lot to me...

1. Drift of to dream - travis tritt
2. Foggy Mountain Breakdown - lester flatt & earl scruggs
3. Everything the Eagles have ever done
4. various yngwei maalmsteen songs
5. Dirty Deeds - AC DC

Stress Management.

2005-05-31T18:15:00.000-05:00

This blog entry is for Shane and Heather. Good luck dealing with those HOA idiots.

Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.
Noone knows you'r secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world".
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is crystal clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding under the water.

There, feel better now????

The Proposition

2005-05-31T00:48:00.000-05:00

A man was enjoying a drink at the bar when an exceptionally gorgeous young woman entered. She was so strikingly attractive that he couldnt take his eyes off her. She noticed his overly attentive stare and walked over to him.

Before he could offer an apology for being so rude the young woman said to him, "Ill do anything, absolutely anything, no matter how kinky, for the sum of $100, on one condition."

Flabbergasted the man asked what the condition was.

The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what it is you want me to do in just three words."

The man considered her proposition for a moment, opened his wallet, counted out 5 twenty dollar bills and pressed them into the young womans hand. He then looked her in the eyes, and slowly, meaningfully said:

PAINT MY HOUSE

Life's little truth's

2005-05-31T00:04:00.000-05:00

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something that you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Noone is paying attention until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, but failure is usually in full view.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is there is no lifeguard.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you never tried before.

Dont sweat the petty things.

Dont pet the sweaty things.

Attempt to get a new car for your wife.......it'll be a good trade.

Hard work pays off in the future.....laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimests....they dont expect it back.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definately isnt for you.

Boycott shampoo!!! Demand the real poo!!!

Everyone who believes in psychokinesis raise my hand>>>>>

Reflections on life as a male.....

2005-05-30T23:21:00.000-05:00

When I was fourteen all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.

When I was sixteen I dated a girl with large breasts but she had no passion. So I decided I wanted a girl with a zest for life.

I dated a passionate girl but she was a real drama queen. Everything was an emergency. She was always crying and upset. Even threatening suicide over the smallest thing.

So, then I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

I found an exciting girl, but I couldnt keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was very impetuous and always flirting with everyone. She was great fun at first, but directionless. She made me miserable as often as happy.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. I found an ambitious girl planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now all I want is a girl with big breasts.......

Cat Bathing as a Martial Art

2005-05-30T22:37:00.000-05:00

Some people believe cats never have to be bathed. They believe cats have a special enzyme in their saliva, like new and improved tide with bleach, and can lick themselves clean. There comes a time, however, when a man must face reality. Before you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the shower you may wish to heed some advice.

* Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of stregnth. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the glass sliding door as if you were going to take a shower.

* Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from a human body. Your advantage here is you are smarter and can dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high top construction boots, a pair of steel mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey mask, and a long sleeve flak jacket.

* Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are laying on your back in the water.

*Use the element of surprise. Pick up your kitty nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will usually not notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. )

*Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single fluid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the bath enclosure, shut the glass door, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than 2 or 3 seconds at a time. When you have him however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He will then spring free and fall back into the water, rinsing himself off. (The national record is -- for cats -- three latherings, so dont expect too much.)

*Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the hardest, for humans are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That is because by now the cat is semipermanently attached to your right leg. With your toes, pop the drain plug, reach for the towel and wait. (Occasionally the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, simply shake him free and coax him toward your right leg) After all the water has drained from the tub it is a simple matter to reach down and dry the cat.

*In a few days the cat will be relaxed enough to remove him from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isnt usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

Some quick jokes.

2005-05-02T00:55:00.000-05:00

A man goes up to a bar located at the top of the empire state building. It looks like a nice place so he takes a seat at the bar.
"This is a nice place, I've never been here before" he says to the guy seated next to him.
"Oh. Really?" the other replies, "it is a nice place, It's also a very special bar"
"Why is that ?"
"Well you see that painting on the wall? It's an original Van Gogh, and the stool your sitting on was on the titanic."
"Wow, that's amazing." Says the first guy.
"Not only that but do you see that window over there? The fourth one from the right. Well the wind does strange things outside that window. If you jump out that window you will fall about fifty feet before the wind pushes you right back up."
"No way, that's impossible." the guy scoffs.
"Not at all, take a look" with that the guy walks over to the window and opens it. He climbs over the sill and falls out. He drops 10...20...30...40...50 feet, comes to a stop, and whoosh---he comes back up and sails through the window.
"See it's fun, you should try it" he says.
Try it!!! I don't even believe I saw it!!!! the first man shouts.
"It's easy. Watch Ill do it again." With that he falls out the window once more. He drops 10...20...30...40...50 feet, stops,comes back and sails through the window.
"Give it a try. It's a blast."
"Well, what the heck. I'll give it a try" says the first man, as he proceeds to fall out the window. He falls 10...20...30...40...50...60...70...80...90...100 feet and splat, he ends up as road pizza on the sidewalk.
After watching this the second guy walks over, casually closes the window, heads back to the bar and orders another drink.
The bartender arrives with the drink and says, " You know Superman, you'r a real jerk when you get drunk."

INTERESTING....YET USELESS INFORMATION

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt 30 feet. (O.M.G.!!!!!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach can live 9 days without it's head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig)

Banging you'r head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while it's head is attached to it's body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the ....?!!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. (30 minutes.....lucky pig...can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty at the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life.....quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmm.......)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK. So I guess that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that one out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about the pig?????????)

Have a pig of a day y'all.

More evil things to do when you'r bored.

2005-04-29T23:23:00.000-05:00

Okay. It's been awhile since I have posted. Sorry to everyone who reads this blog. That goes for both of you. Anyway..........here is another installment of things to do when you are bored.

In an Elevator...
1. Ask.."Did you hear something like a cable snapping sound?"
2.Call the psychic hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you are on.
3.Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.
4.Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
5.Bring a camera, take pictures of the other passengers, say things like ffffabulouse repeatedly.
6.Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator, ask other passengers to help you study them. (get them wrong)
7.Challenge people to games of hide and seek.
8.Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and act embarrased.
9.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk, then announce to everyone that this is your personal space.
10.Give each passenger a round of applause when they enter or leave.
11.Lick gummy bears and stick them to things. (the walls, buttons, other passengers)
12.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
13. Place police "crime scene do not enter " tape to the inside of the doors.
14.While holding a paper with "out of order" written on it, say
"I wonder why this was taped to the outside of the doors when I got on"
15.Try to purchase an article of clothing from another passenger.
16.Wear a santa suit.......in July.
17.When there is only one other passenger, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasnt you.
18.Stand really close to another passenger, sniff them occasionally.

Annoying things to do at a job interview.
(Warning to Some Alabama residents - Dont do this if you actually want the job)

1.Announce that you are here to perform a hostile takeover of the company, fire your interviewer.
2.Chew tobacco, spit in the pencil holder.
3.Reach over and grab your interviewer's face, then announce "Ive got your nose", inform him that you wont give the nose back unless you get the job.
4.Comment on how much you like your interviewer's spouse's picture. Then take the picture and put it in your briefcase.
5.Ask for a company porsche.
6.Show up in a jogging suit. Jog in place during the interview.
7.Bring in a whoopie cushion, set if off, then roll your eyes and look at your interviewer in disgust.
8.While shaking hands start a thumb wrestling match.
9.Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until they yell at you. Then ask if you got the job.

2005-04-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

decisions...decisions...decisions....

2005-04-06T21:43:00.000-05:00

I always wondered......

2005-04-06T21:42:00.000-05:00

2005-04-06T21:41:00.000-05:00

.Yep.....Canada is number one.....

2005-04-06T21:40:00.000-05:00

2005-04-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

2005-04-03T22:45:00.000-05:00

Night yawl.

2005-04-03T22:40:00.000-05:00

talk about a nose bleed section......

2005-04-03T22:38:00.000-05:00

drink responsibly.

2005-03-27T00:04:00.000-06:00

Happy Easter Everyone

2005-03-26T22:34:00.000-06:00

these clouds are cool.

2005-03-26T22:33:00.000-06:00

the next wave of cell phone use in traffic

2005-03-26T22:31:00.000-06:00

my next part time job.

2005-03-26T22:30:00.000-06:00

Maybe this would be a good look for Shane?

2005-03-26T22:28:00.000-06:00

Finally found a way to get rid of those pesky bills!!!!

2005-03-26T22:27:00.000-06:00

2005-03-23T20:52:00.000-06:00

Try this.......It took me a minute. Lila had no problem but she is left handed, so right brain dominant.

2005-03-23T20:49:00.000-06:00

Why do tommorrow what you can do the day after?

A Sign?

2005-03-23T18:11:00.000-06:00

Lila had her surgery today. She was out of surgery in less than an hour, then she spent the next four hours trying to shake off the effects of the anethesia. She is really sore but feeling much better.
While she was in surgery I went out to call and check on the kids. Now I know a lot of people, when they pray, ask for a sign. I don't. However, I feel I received one anyway. I prayed simply for Lila to come through the operation all right and for God to guide the surgeon's hands. As I got ready to go back inside I noticed a single dove, between me and the door. It may sound strange but that keeps happening throughout my life. During times in my life that I have been really worried about something, I have been visited by doves. I know that didn't really have anything to do with how things turned out but it is really a calming effect. Then I notice a mated pair of cardinals, the state bird of my home state. To me they were Lila and I, flying above our problems. I don't rely on, or even ask for signs. I think sometimes however, if you pay attention, you may get one.
Anyway, Welcome back home Lila. Get well soon.
I Love You.

Why?????

2005-03-19T13:40:00.000-06:00

Do you ever wonder why people do things. Or is it just me.
Like ...why do we put so much trust in doctors? If they are so smart then why do we call them ...Practicing Physicians?

Why does a dog get mad when you blow in his face, yet when he rides in a car with the window down he keeps his head out the window

If Jimmy cracks corn and noone cares, why is there a song about him?

If the professor on gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why the heck cant he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking what time it is, and not their crotch when asking directions to the bathroom?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong??

Why is it when you tell someone there are over a billion stars in the universe, they believe you. But tell them there is wet paint, they have to touch it for themselves.

Why is it noone listens to what you say until you'r wrong about something.

Did you ever notice noone really cares about you until you miss a couple payments?

The tongue is one of the lightest body parts we have, so why is it so hard to hold?

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

God is dead - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead - God

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?...congress?

Why do you need a drivers license to buy alcahol when you can't drink and drive?

If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get the teflon to stick to the pan?

they have that indestructible black box on airplanes in case of a crash, why can't they make the whole plane out of that material?

When people are driving looking for an address, why do they turn the radio down.

How can something be new and improved at the same time?????

On the radio the other day I heard an ad...."Im Jeff Healy...from the Jeff Healy Band....don't drink and drive....I dont"
Well....I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healy.....You'r freakin' blind for pete's sake!!!!!!!!

If you want to send someone some styrofoam what do you pack it in?

Do amphibians have to wait an hour after eating to get out of the water?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, would that be considered a hostage situation?

When a pet bird sees you reading the newspaper does he ever wonder why you'r just sitting there staring at the carpet?

Since light is faster than the speed of sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Can atheists get isurance coverage for acts of God?

If I were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke, and take 5 cents from you for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?

If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

If a cannibal ate a clown, would he taste funny?

How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges?

Why can't life's problems hit us when we are 17 and we know everything?

Why is the phrase "it's none of my business.." always followed by the word "but"

Ways to be truly annoying.....

2005-03-17T23:03:00.000-06:00

sing the batman theme constantly.

staple papers in the middle of the page.

ask 800 number operators for dates.

write the surprise ending to a novel on the front page.

specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

memorize morse code and have public conversations with your friends consisting of "beep bip bip bee bip".

publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

honk and wave to total strangers in heavy traffic.

Dress only in clothes that are hunter orange.

change channels five minutes before the ending of every tv show.

tape segments of "sweatin to the oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

steal a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute entire city streets.

pay for your dinner with pennies.

repeat everything someone says, as a question.

wander around the restaurant asking other diners for their parsley.

demand that everyone address you as "conquistador"

leave tips in pesos.

wear a cape that says "Magnificent One"

stand over someones shoulder and mumble as they read.

skip everywhere you go instead of walking.

leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

name your dog "Dog"

inform people that they exist only in your imagination.

ask people what gender they are.

reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think"

follow a few paces behind someone spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

while making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

lie about obvious things like the time of day.

sit in your front yard with a hair dryer and point it at passing cars and see if they slow down.

chew on borrowed pens.

sing along at the opera.

mow your lawn with scissors.

finish all your sentences with "in accordance with prophecy"

ask the waitress for an extra seat for your imaginary friend.

ask your coworkers mysterious questions and scribble their answers in a notebook while mumbling something about psychological profiles.

dont add inflection at the end of any of your sentences, producing an awkward silence with the impression that you will be saying more at any moment.

signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

invent lots of people to other people's parties.

forward e-mails back to the person that sent it to you.

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!!!!!!!!

2005-03-17T01:31:00.000-06:00

I would like to send out some traditional Irish blessings to everyone. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm Irish. Part Irish anyway, but that still counts.

May you'r neighbors respect you,
Troubles neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And heaven accept you.

Dance as if noone were watching,
Sing as if noone were listening,
And live every day as if it were you'r last.

May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you are dead.

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

A few limericks to get you started

2005-03-17T01:04:00.000-06:00

A Lass, one beautiful morn,
Fell in love with a male unicorn,
She purchased a spell,
Recited it well,
Now she's with him with hooves, tail, and horn.

A man, while drinking light bud,
Crashed his car with a sickening thud,
The car that he hit,
Had a warlock in it,
Now he lives as a frog in the mud

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His beak can hold more than his belican,
He can take in his beak,
Food enough for a week,
But I'm damned if I see how the helican.

There was a young woman named Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light,
She set out one day,
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

2005-03-17T00:54:00.000-06:00

lol

2005-03-17T00:52:00.000-06:00

Happy St. Patricks Day!

!st Degree Bloglifting!

2005-03-04T23:38:00.000-06:00

Okay! My wife got this from shane, then I got it from her. I have been pretty sick lately so I'm bein lazy.

1. Who was your first grade teacher? That would have been Ms. Zirkle. If she is still alive and reads this......that time in your class we were shooting spitballs....and I overshot Jodi and it hit the blackboard.....and fell....on your forehead..........SORRY.

2. Last person you kissed? That would be Jakob.

3.Last word you said? Amen. I like to pray over my kids when they sleep.

4. Last person you hugged? Jakob.

5. Last thing you laughed at? An episode of monk.

6. Last time said I love you? when I put the boys to bed.

7. Whats in your cd player? Gran Tourismo 2, My cd player is an old playstation.

8. last song you sang? paper in fire - john mellencamp

9. What socks are you wearing? the ones youve been looking for for weeks.

10. What's under your bed? The last three people to ask me that question, and fifi the cat.

11. current taste? mt. dew and a hotdog

12. current hair? yes.....ask me tommorrow and It may be no.

13. current clothes? Dont look Ethel!!!!!

14. current annoyance? Doctors that charge 2oo dollars to tell you your sick then tell you to get some rest and thats all they can do for you. Well........no sh&^.......glad you got that medical degree there bub cause I had no idea. I just like to come visit the building now and then and give money to whoever is in there.

15. current desktop? Gangster sesame street. All the muppets packin heat. And in other news.......Sesame Street signs on for four more seasons.

16. current worry? That I am not competent enough to provide the kind of life my wife and kids really deserve.

17. Current hate? Old navy commercials, where's a torpedo when you really really need one?

18. current favorite article of clothing? my left sock. not my right one cause its got a dang hole right over the pinky toe, but the left sock man....yeah...thats the one.

19. favorite place to be? In a coma sleeping peaceably

20. least favorite place to be? sitting in rush hour traffic in huntsville,alabama.

21.Time you wake up? 6:30 am

22 what instrument would you play? I play guitar some now, have played the bass in the past..........would like to learn the piano possibly

23 Do you believe in an afterlife? Of course........if there isnt one then what would be the point of this one?

24. Favorite book? study bible

25. Favorite day? Today

26. Where do you want to go? To bed. Oh...you meant where in the world I guess. I would have to say Ireland.

27. What is your career going to be like? yep......that pretty much sums it up.....thanks for asking

28. What kind of car do you have? 1985 camaro with 262,000 miles on it and still runs like a charm, 1995 mercury villager, 1999 dodge ram company truck.

29. Type a line you remember from any book. Hark....what light through yonder window breaks

30. How many kids do you want? How many you got?

31. Righty or lefty? All righty then

32. Sign? This space for rent. A taurus in other words.

33. Innie or outie? yep

34. Heritage. German/Scotch-Irish/Indian= MUTT

35.Shoes worn today. Work boots

36.Hair. ummmm.....bite me

37. Your thoughts when first waking up. Here we go again

38. Your most missed memory. There was this one time when I was ....oh wait....that wasn't me

39. Pepsi or coke. Mt. Dew

40. Mcdonalds or burger king. neither

41. single/group dates. single.......never got into orgies

42.adidas or nike. bobo's

43.Lipton or nestea. Lipton

44.Chocolate or Vanilla. Both swirled together.....Chanilla....or is that Vanocula

45. Capuccino or coffee. coffee

46.Do you smoke? Only when I'm on fire......or having a cigarette

47.Do you sing? Use to. Was in two bands for a while.

48.Do you take a shower daily? What am I stinkin over here. Of course I do.

49.Ever been in love? Im married so what do you think?

50. Did you like high school? Ummm.....no

51.Do you want to get married? see number 49

52.Do you type with your fingers on the correct keys? yeds...i Am a goot thyper

53.Do you think you are attractive? see number 49

54.Are you a health freak? nope.....just your standard run of the mill freak

55. Do you get along with your parents? I get along well with my mom, she calls once a week. My dad died when I was 18 so we dont talk much.

56. Do you play an instrument? guitar and bass

57.Height. 4 foot 23 inches

58.favorite toe. ?
your supposed to have a favorite????????

59.all i need is ? My wife and kids

60.If I could see one person right now. Toss up between my dad and my grandma

Happy Anniversary Lila !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-22T15:52:00.000-06:00

Just want to say Happy Anniversary to the bravest woman I know. Brave? Yes, Brave, you have managed to stick with me for four years. Thank you for putting up with me for the past four years. I know it hasn't been easy. You are a wonderful wife. You are a wonderful mother too. I love you !!!!!!!

2005-01-22T15:51:00.000-06:00

Time for the KISS reunion tour.

2005-01-22T15:50:00.000-06:00

Just when you think it's safe to relax.....

2005-01-15T17:15:00.000-06:00

Your having me what?....oh yeah?....fix this!!!!!

2005-01-13T23:16:00.000-06:00

Holy crap!!!! Glad I dont live in Houghton.

2005-01-13T23:12:00.000-06:00

wouldn't that be.....desert access?

2005-01-13T23:11:00.000-06:00

watch out for car eating cows

Wally World Entertainment Guide

2005-01-13T18:17:00.000-06:00

If you are anything like me, you spend a good deal of time making Sam Walton's beneficiaries even richer than they are now. Most of the time you fill your cart and go to check out, and there are only two or three lines open. It's gonna be another long wait.
Why not have some fun in the process? Here are some things to occupy your time. (Once again, I wont be able to provide bail money so be carefull :) )

Follow people around as they shop staying about ten feet from them at all times. Do this until they leave the department.

Walk up to an employee and say "I think we have a code 3 in hardware"

Fill up complete shopping carts, leave them sitting in different areas

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at five minute intervals

Turn all the radios to a classical music station, then turn them off and set the volume to maximum

Walk up to the automatic doors. When they open, step backwards and stare in awe. When others walk through, gasp in amazement

Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hey there stranger! I haven't seen you in ages!" See if they play along.

Pay off layaway items a quarter at a time

When any anouncement comes over the intercom, roll up in the fetal position and cry out "nooo....it's those voices again"

Ride a bicycle through the store until stopped, tell the clerk you don't buy anything without a test drive

Go to the Health and Beauty section and practice you'r vitamin juggling skills

Test the fishing poles, see what you can catch from the next isle

When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with their cart without saying a word. Leave it two isles over.

I'm dot nrunk occiffer!

2005-01-12T15:49:00.000-06:00

From time to time I watch the t.v. show "cops". It constantly amazes me the stupidity with which people react when confronted with a uniform and flashing lights. O.k. first you'r dealing with a person here who carries a pistol on their hip and can put you in lockup with bubba the buttranger. Aside from that the fines can add up to the point where you;ll need to get a second job {provided you have a first job that is} just to pay for it. You would think these guys would come up with at least believable lies to try to get out of the situations they are in. So, in an effort to help keep bubba's visitor book from overflowing I am listing these suggestions as:

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER SAY WHEN PULLED OVER

I didn't realize my radar detector was off

Wow, you must've been doing about 120 to keep up with me

My taxes pay you'r salary

Hmmmm, I thought you had to be in pretty good shape to be a cop

My license? Sure, mind holdin my beer while I get it out? (As far as I know this is still acceptable in Texas and West Virginia)

Loved you in the village people

You aren't going to search the trunk are you?

I'm just trying to keep up with traffic. I know I'm the only one here.......that's how far ahead the rest of the cars are.

You wouldn't know anyone in need of a dozen "hot -n- now" donuts would you?

O.K. , so you caught me speeding, wanna try best out of three?

Pretend to be gay, ask him out.

When he says no, cry.

If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harrassment.

After you sign the ticket, hand it back and ask for another copy because you signed the wrong name.

Bet you can't keep up with me now that your on foot. (Drive away)

2005-01-11T22:44:00.000-06:00

Where does IHOP get its milk? ICOW

2005-01-11T22:42:00.000-06:00

anyone got a towel?

2005-01-11T22:41:00.000-06:00

Note to self; stop teasing the cat

2005-01-10T21:46:00.000-06:00

Please send me a message.

2005-01-10T21:45:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone. Nothing much to say today. Just chillin' watchin some t.v.

Elevator Games for the Demented

2005-01-08T18:09:00.000-06:00

I don't know about the rest of you, but I hate elevators. It seems that every time I get on one, it has to stop on every floor. We need a better form of amusement during this vertical snooze. Here are some suggestions to make your ride more enjoyable.
(Not responsible for detrimental reactions to your reputation up to and including arrest and/or psychiatric committal.

Hum the theme to jaws on each floor until the door opens.
announce each floor loudly ....... follow with "all aboard"
stand quietly in the corner without moving facing the wall without getting off
when anyone brushes against you, move away quickly saying "bad touch, bad touch"
keep a hand in your pocket, smile the whole time, hiss periodically
bring a small desk and chair, ask all who enter if they have an appointment
grimace, smack your forehead, periodically whisper "shut up, I'm not doing that"
make small race car noises as people get off or on
wear a tuxedo print shirt and when people try to get on say "that will be $4.50 please
open your breifcase and ask "got enough air in there?"
when you arrive at a floor grunt and groan while trying to open the elevator door, act surprised when it opens itself
wear a sock puppet and talk to other passengers through it

Have fun,

For my single friends.

2005-01-08T00:00:00.000-06:00

HOW TO TELL WHEN YOUR FOOD IS SPOILED!

When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, you should probably throw out the eggs

Expiration dates are not a marketing ploy to make you throw away good food and buy more.

Now dairy products spoil easily. They are also what I call chain spoilers. It is time to throw them out when;
the milk looks like yogurt
the yogurt looks like cottage cheese
the cottage cheese looks like regular cheese
the regular cheese looks like blue cheese dressing

When freezer items become an integral part of your defrosting problem you should probably toss those too........If they arent freezer burned...they will be destroyed anyway from prying it up with a butter knife.

Any item that has grown hair.......unless your last name is dahmer.....toss it.

To all people/companies that inundate me with spam mail

2005-01-07T22:35:00.000-06:00

Thank you for taking an interest in me. Regretfully I must inform you of a few things however:

1. My penis is just fine, thank you for asking.

2. I don't need any medication at this time, and if I do in the future I think I will buy it from someone that can actually spell the name of the medication.

3. I already have a diploma (and by the way I have never seen it spelled with a 1 in the middle.

4. Pretending to be the institute that I bank with, WOW, that's admirable. No you can't have my account number.

5. Women partying with farm animals is sooooooo 1990's.

6. "Your pc is infected"...no it isnt. My computer is living in antivirus paradise. It wont even open .exe files moronicus.

7. Re:????? I never sent you an e-mail. Return the favor.

Bite me very much,

2005-01-07T19:04:00.000-06:00

Now can I have a raise????????

2005-01-07T19:03:00.000-06:00

All this time people have been telling me to go there........I finally have directions

The world is NOT a trashcan!!!

2005-01-07T15:56:00.000-06:00

O.K. This is one of my pet peeves and was brought to light strongly for me today. While driving between job sites, a black ford f250 blows by me and the passenger threw out what appeared to be a half eaten sandwich complete with silver foil wrapper. The food I can get over, ants and other animals will consume that in short fashion. What I can't stand is the blatant disregard shown by;
1. They were in the passing lane and almost caused a wreck because the rubbish landed on my hood and the car behind me swerved when they saw it. I guess they thought I would swerve too.
2. The wrapper will take anywhere from several months to several years to decompose, and just adds to the litter from other inconsiderate people who do this same thing.

I would just like to say one thing to these guys, and to all who follow this example.

THE WORLD IS NOT YOUR TRASH CAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not perfect, far from it. But I can say, and my wife will attest, any trash or paper that we generate stays in the car until we get home. Then it goes in the house trash can.........eventually. She has had to chase me out of the house to go clean the car out a couple of times actually. Now I know many of you are tired of hearing how we must protect our environment...blah this....blah that.....clean the water. We hear it all the time, and I agree with the idea of protecting our environment. I am not even talking from this standpoint in this instance however.
I am going to come from the standpoint of safety. As long as there are people driving there will be accidents. It is a fact of life, we are human, and mistakes will happen. Some accidents can be prevented. This inconsiderate (expletive deleted) passenger could have caused either me or the car behind me to drive into the ditch, or careen into another vehicle trying to avoid the rubbish they ejected. In other words this one act could have hurt someone. Now. I ask you this. What if in one of those vehicles..........the passengers......just happened to be a child. Maybe even your child. How would you feel about littering then. This has happened. And will happen again I'm sure. But it doesn't have to.
I make this call to everyone who reads this......If you see someone littering, ask them to stop. The life you save could be someone you love.

Until next time,
Peace

2005-01-07T14:55:00.000-06:00

In a world of constant company mergers.......This one was inevitable!

2005-01-05T21:09:00.000-06:00

I know exactly where I am.....highway 89....what....do I look inbred or somethin?

2005-01-05T21:07:00.000-06:00

wait a minute.......

2005-01-05T21:06:00.000-06:00

Uh-oh

2005-01-05T21:05:00.000-06:00

Panic starts to take hold......

2005-01-05T21:04:00.000-06:00

The signs slowly take over....suddenly you dont know which way is up

2005-01-05T21:03:00.000-06:00

you cant remember where you left your keys...

2005-01-05T21:02:00.000-06:00

you cant even seem to find a decent parking spot

2005-01-05T20:59:00.000-06:00

Before you know it.......you'r in a clock tower

More of the same?

2005-01-05T20:31:00.000-06:00

Of course it is!!! As my wife will happily tell you, I am not one to gripe, then move on immediately. Noooooooooooooooo......not me. Following the same line as yesterday, and in my celebration of anti-driver week, I couldnt stop thinking about why people can't seem to understand basic signs. I understand the reasoning of, well, if I dont outdrive you Ill never get where Im going. But I decided to investigate the true cause of all the madness. Now I think I have found my answer.

IT'S A GOVERNMENT PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It isn't the general publics fault after all.
This has been a public disservice announcement.

Where do stupid people come from?????????

2005-01-04T20:54:00.000-06:00

First of all, let me start by saying hello to shane. I have enjoyed reading your blog (shane's apples and the new "rebirth") , hopefully I spelled those right. Glad you decided to stick around.

Now, when I was a young buck I did alot of crazy stuff. Im sure that I got on "grown folk's " nerves quite often. I did, however, have a sense of respect for most people. This doesnt seem to be the case with most of today's younger generation. For instance, I drive alot with my job and spend a lot of time in traffic. I can't tell you how many times I have almost been involved in accidents because of people not paying attention to the road, the stoplights, the speed limit (oh yeah!...its a speed limit people........not a SPEED SUGGESTION)
So the question is "where did all these stupid people come from and why is it against the law to kill them?"
Ok. Maybe they shouldnt be killed.......just flogged. Or is it that I am just getting old. Am I wrong to be so bothered because someone wants to drive, while combing their eyebrows in the vanity mirror during the slow scenes in the movie playing on their laptop dvd player that they are discussing on their cell phone with twenty of their friends on a party line? Is this just another step in my journey to the position of the old man driving to florida in the passing lane at 12 mph?
City driving can be stressfull. I know what a pain it is to be sitting at a light for ten minutes so I can be close enough to make it through the green light just to get to the next red light for a five minute wait and possibly make it to work before they hire someone else in my place. Sometimes I feel like pushing the cars in front of me right on through the light so I can get going. The lights are there for everyones safety, and now I submit everyone's relief. Yeah.....I said relief. Without a break, even professional nascar drivers succumb to fatigue and make mistakes. Unfortunately sometimes even deadly mistakes. If the pros do it, why do we think we can do better. So if anyone reading this just happens to be one of the guys racing to beat the light and thereby narrowly missing my truck, (I doubt it.....they dont have time to wait on a light much less stop to read anything) then please, take your turn at the stop light/sign. Enjoy a "S"mall "T"ime "O"f "P"eace.

Until next time, Peace
Grover

2005-01-03T21:21:00.000-06:00

Grover

Welcome to Grover Street.

2005-01-03T21:03:00.000-06:00

Hello there. Welcome to my blog. I have no clue what to write just this minute ..........this is all new to me. If you come back later maybe Ill have something here.........or maybe I wont. Ill just let that be a surprise and leave it at that.